by Dr. Karen Lindwall-Bourg | Apr 10, 2020 | Blog, Celebrate Life!
(from a recent interview – Karen was interviewed by Dr. Sharon Johnson of Comtivate C2M)
[During COVID-19 Shelter-in-Place Spring 2020]
We’re all hunkered down (ooops, that’s a Texas/Southern term!) and living in uncertain times. And I don’t know about you, but one of the first things I did was look to my trusted leaders for community, encouragement, and wisdom. I looked to God’s Word, the Bible; to the World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control (not wanting to get caught up in the media hype); to my husband, to my daughter (a Family Nurse Practitioner); to my coaches – the John Maxwell Team; and to my own team (because they will look to me for leadership and hold me accountable to lead well and they will be supportive and offer me wisdom in return).
In this series of Blogs, we will talk about:
- Why leadership and engagement are so important during uncertain times,
- What Christian leaders can and should do during uncertain times, and
- Some favorite Christian resources (Scriptures, quotes, books, podcasts, etc.); and we hope you’ll share your advice with us as well in the comments below!
Why is Christian Leadership and Engagement So Important During Uncertain Times?
John Maxwell tells us that “everything rises and falls on leadership!” Leadership is influence.
Leaders Offer Safe and Like-Minded Community
We were created for relationship and community and connection. God wants a relationship with us. We desire a relationship with Him. He planned that we would relate and communicate with and love each other – hopefully drawing each other closer to Him along the way! We NEED each other. We need to know we’re not alone. Our group has created an online virtual work-space open to all Monday through Thursday, so even though we’re miles apart (from TX – VA, even in Uganda), it feels like we’re in the next cubicle and we’re not so alone! View upcoming dates here: http://nacwe.org/calendar
“We are better together. After all, two hearts are better than one; four hearts are better than two!”
– Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV
Leaders Offer Encouragement
There is too much negativity and too little positivity in this world, especially right now during these uncertain times. We’re all looking to online venues to fill some of the void and to be reassured that our loved ones are okay, that we’re going to be okay.
Every time I talk to a client these days, they mention places they’ve sought online. One woman talked excitedly about some of the coolest venues online that she’d found aligned with her interests, but before she finished telling me about them, she was reduced to tears. An indication, I pointed out, that her searching was too much, adding to overwhelm instead of leading to peace and hope.
As leaders, on the one hand, we DO need to offer online venues that are encouraging and engaging. On the other hand, we need to make sure that we offer those who look to us enough, but not so much that we add to the already overwhelming chaos out there. Everyone needs to choose wisely how often and where they go online to fill the void.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
Leaders Search for and Impart Wisdom
We need wisdom, truth, certainty, refuge, hope, peace — the Source of these resources is the Lord and we share them with each other. I am the first to admit that I am a “knowledge and understanding” junkie! I’m addicted to the written word / to knowing more — sadly, sometimes to the point that I miss the true Wisdom and Word from God that I so badly need.
When my kids were younger, we had a homeschool curriculum that included all sorts of wisdom games. The homeschool pastor explained that in our secular training we often build up knowledge and understanding first then hope the wisdom to apply that information comes naturally. It often doesn’t. God’s Word is full of analogies, metaphors, parables and isn’t always readily understood, and we should be seeking His Wisdom and His Truth first! And we should be filtering the information we receive from others through the crucible of God’s Word and His Principles. I want to follow leaders that are seeking wisdom! I want to be a leader who is seeking Wisdom!
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
James 3:17 ESV
Leader Q&A:
One of or Interview attendees asked me, the self-professed knowledge and understanding junkie:
“Because we are all learners… How much knowledge is enough?”
My Answer: Wow, what a loaded question! REST first! Be still enough to hear from the Lord! God only gave us so many hours in a day. His design is perfect. I want to always be learning, of course. But my calling from God, even during these uncertain times, has not been re-called! He still has called me to work for Him, to serve Him! I must balance the time He has given me between self-care, family, and my calling (knowledge, and service). There comes a time when I must put knowledge sources aside and serve Him as He has called me to do! It’s a matter of obedience and balance!
Dr. Sharon’s Answer: Consider experience. Wherever your focus goes, that’s where your energy flows. Consider your purpose – to enhance and add value to people. Is the knowledge you’re seeking aligned with your purpose and values? Will this gained knowledge give you experience that makes you a better teacher? What’s your “WHY,” your purpose? Turn your focus there!
What would you add to why Christian Leadership and Engagement is so important during uncertain times?
CONTACT US:
Community -When you need a Nurturing, Active, group of like-minded Christian Women Entrepreneurs whose goals are to provide Community, Networking, Education and Missions opportunities – join the National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs (NACWE) on Facebook http://facebook.com/groups/NACWEFreedom / our Website http://nacwe.org Once you’ve gotten to know us, we hope you’ll consider joining our more Intimate and Elite Group as well. NACWE was established in 2010 and has served thousands of women across the United States AND the world!
Coaching & Writing -When you need small group Coaching/Masterminds and/or Individual Coaching with opportunities for trips, retreats, VIP Days and more to achieve extraordinary levels of success worth celebrating, join Me / Dr. Karen Website http://karenbourg.com/work-with-me I’ve been coaching since about 2007 when I opened a Private Practice Marriage and Family Therapy/Biblical Counseling Practice and realized to grow took a whole lot more than “when you build it, they will come”! It took knowing how to run a business/ministry God’s Way!
Conference -Also, we hope you’ll consider joining us for our ANNUAL Conference “Working God’s Way” north of Dallas September 18-19, 2020. Our keynote Speaker will be Shae Bynes, Co-Founder of Kingdom Driven Entrepreneur and the Author of Grace Over Grind. https://nacwe.org/savethedate2020conference/
READ MORE: Part 2, Part 3
Blessings,
Karen Lindwall-Bourg
“Achieve Levels of Success Worth Celebrating”
*Founder, Karen Bourg Companies http://karenbourg.com
*Owner, President {Inter}National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs/International Christian Mompreneur Network http://nacwe.org
*Founder, RHEMA Publishing House http://rhemapublishinghouse.com
*Founder, RHEMA Lakeside Retreat Center https://www.facebook.com/rhemaretreat/
*Founder, RHEMA Counseling Associates http://rhemacounseling.com
About Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Karen Lindwall-Bourg is the President of the {Inter} National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs [est. May 2010] and the new President of the International Christian Mompreneur Network [est. July 2010], both at http://nacwe.org . She and the NACWE Operations and Leadership Teams work diligently to provide
· Community
· Networking
· Education
· Missions
opportunities to Christian Women Entrepreneurs, Mompreneurs and Nanapreneurs alike all over the world!
Our Core Values are
· Community – we value Connection, Collaboration and Contribution
· Networking – we value Nurture, New relationships and New and innovative offers
· Education – we value Encouragement, Excellence and Expressiveness, and
· Missions – we value Ministry and Making a difference
Karen is wife to Fred, Mommy to 6 kids and 5 in-loves, Nana to “going-on” 11 grandchildren, and treat provider deluxe for a herd of Great Pyrenees who protect their north TX ranch! She is an entrepreneur coach, author, publisher, retreat hostess and more! Learn more about Mastermind groups and “Celebration” coaching with Karen at http://karenbourg.com.
by Dr. Karen Lindwall-Bourg | Apr 8, 2020 | Celebrate Life!, Entrepreneur Endeavors
Rest – On the Seventh Day, God Rested – Karen Lindwall-Bourg
I am a recovering Type-A Personality!
I’m busy most of the time, feel guilty if I’m not working on a project or creating something new; and when I do sit down, I am not still!
How about you? Are you able to work when it’s time to work, play when it’s time to play, and rest when it’s time to rest?
Let’s look at various aspects of rest:
Recreation
The Bible talks a lot about playing – it refers to playing instruments in praise to the Lord.
The Bible talks a lot about joy – I found over 100 Bible verses about being joyful and all of them were related to being in the presence of the Lord. For example, in Galatians 5 we learn that part of the fruit of the Spirit is joy. In Proverbs 17 we find that a joyful heart is good medicine. In Psalm 118 we rejoice in the day that the Lord has made.
What do you do to shift gears and play?
Someone posted a question on a Facebook newsfeed asking what everyone was doing for Self-care Saturday. Interestingly, many of the comments were what most people would consider work!
I do love the calling to Biblical Counseling God has given me, and sometimes it is draining and difficult, but most of the time it is joyful and enticing! I can relate to these commenters.
Take a Break, a Breather, a Time Out, Take it Easy, Respite
In Ecclesiastes 3:1 we are told, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…”
How often do you break for a breather?
Even within our workday, it is important to shift gears every now and then – to stretch, to stand and move to a different place, to take a walk, to grab a glass of water and keep hydrated, to shift to a different project or part of a task, to break the monotony, and to expand our creativity!
Relax, Be at Peace
“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31
Even Christ knew that there were times to get away, to be quiet, and to rest. Scripture talks several times about how the crowds pressed in upon him and how he needed to retreat.
Sleep, Cease (Cessation), Repose
“The sleep of a labouring man [is] sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.” Ecclesiastes 5:12
We were created to need 6 to 9 hours of sleep per night – depending on the person.
The list is long of the harmful effects of losing sleep.
We put our work and our loved ones first so often, even to the point of losing sleep. I am reminded of the instruction on an airplane to put your own oxygen mask on before trying to help anyone else with theirs. The premise is that by the time you help someone else with their oxygen mask you may not have enough oxygen to put your own mask on and would not be helpful to anyone else.
Be Well
An associate of mine, Bill, pointed out that the Hebrew word SHALOM is used as a traditional Jewish greeting or farewell and means rest, health, and/or well-being and much more.
The buzzword of this century is wellness, or well-being!
Shalom is understood around the world to mean “peace;” a complete peace. It includes a feeling of contentment, completeness, wholeness, and harmony.
According to Strong’s Concordance 7965 Shalom means completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. Shalom comes from the root verb shalom meaning to be complete, perfect and full. In modern Hebrew the obviously related word Shelem means to pay for, and Shulam means to be fully paid.
Of course, there is only one way to find TRUE shalom – and that is in the Word of God – from Him who created and put all things into place.
My biblical counseling friend, Elizabeth, once pointed out how much time it takes to care for oneself. We were talking in our group about how guilty our clients (and we ourselves) sometimes seem to feel when they/we take time out for themselves/ourselves. When you count up the number of hours of sleep and add in the other hours it takes to be clean and well fed and exercised and other things we need to do like taking vitamins and going to physicians and dentists and chiropractors, etc.… the hours really add up! Elizabeth asked, “Why would God create human beings to need so much self-care? Would he want you to feel guilty about that care? Of course not!
Learn from Him
On The Seventh Day, God Rested“And on the seventh day God finished his work, and He rested. God blessed the seventh day and made it holy.” Genesis 2:1-3
The Creator perfectly executed His will. He provided us with the model for the cycle of labor and rest (Exodus 31:17) so we are exhorted to labor and rest. In addition, we are exhorted to look forward to the eternal redemptive Sabbath rest (Hebrews 4:3-10). We are to imitate the pattern of the King and to confess God’s Lordship and our consecration to Him. How will you add self-care and rest to your busy schedule as a father, as a daughter, as an entrepreneur?
Leave us a comment and let’s see what helps we can give each other in this area!
Do you need help learning to put rest on the agenda?
Let’s do it!
Let me help you learn to work when it’s time to work, play when it’s time to play, and rest when it’s time to rest!
Blessings,
Karen Lindwall-Bourg
“Achieve Levels of Success Worth Celebrating”
*Founder, Karen Bourg Companies http://karenbourg.com
*Owner, President {Inter}National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs/International Christian Mompreneur Network http://nacwe.org
*Founder, RHEMA Publishing House http://rhemapublishinghouse.com
*Founder, RHEMA Lakeside Retreat Center https://www.facebook.com/rhemaretreat/
*Founder, RHEMA Counseling Associates http://rhemacounseling.com
About Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Karen Lindwall-Bourg is the President of the {Inter} National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs [est. May 2010] and the new President of the International Christian Mompreneur Network [est. July 2010], both at http://nacwe.org . She and the NACWE Operations and Leadership Teams work diligently to provide
· Community
· Networking
· Education
· Missions
opportunities to Christian Women Entrepreneurs, Mompreneurs and Nanapreneurs alike all over the world!
Our Core Values are
· Community – we value Connection, Collaboration and Contribution
· Networking – we value Nurture, New relationships and New and innovative offers
· Education – we value Encouragement, Excellence and Expressiveness, and
· Missions – we value Ministry and Making a difference
Karen is wife to Fred, Mommy to 6 kids and 5 in-loves, Nana to “going-on” 12 grandchildren, and treat provider deluxe for a herd of Great Pyrenees who protect their north TX ranch! She is an entrepreneur coach, author, publisher, retreat hostess and more! Learn more about Mastermind groups and “Celebration” coaching with Karen at http://karenbourg.com
by Dr. Karen Lindwall-Bourg | Apr 1, 2020 | Celebrate Life!
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23
His mercies are new every morning. I am so grateful for this because as we come around to the end of the month I have already faltered a little on sticking to my goals and resolutions for this New Year.
Almost everyone has good intentions of New Year’s resolutions. How many times in life have you started gung-ho and ready to accomplish all you resolve to do, then only two weeks later find yourself discouraged and feeling beat up because you failed?
Let’s talk about that!
Writing the Goals/ Resolutions
Personally, I don’t do resolutions. I write goals. I pick something I want to achieve but I know I can’t do in my own strength. I make a goal which will require me to rely on God to accomplish it. I make plans specifically toward sticking to my goals. When you are choosing your goals, especially if you are new at this, pick something reasonable and then go a little further.
For example, don’t set a goal to do a zero gravity space flight if you are afraid of flying! (That’s me!) Keep your task within your realistic interests and dreams. When you pick your goal choose something you can accomplish within the year.
Sticking to It
One of the best ways to stick to and accomplish your goal is to have a purposeful plan. Take the time to write out the steps you will take to accomplish your goal. Break it down into small steps so you can measure your progress.
It takes determination and perseverance to stick to your plan. This is when you rely on the strength of the Lord. When you are tired and discouraged about achieving your goal meditate on the fact that in your weakness, God is made strong!
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 (NIV)
In those moments when you feel you haven’t been sticking to your goals – you feel like giving up or you have gone off track, Jesus steps in and strengthens you to keep going.
Finally, when trying to stay on track, remember this encouragement. You will reap, just hang in there and persevere.
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
Overcoming Slip-ups
One of the most difficult things about accomplishing and sticking to your goals is staying encouraged. Discouragement can come so easy when we don’t stick to the plan or we get off track or just forget to move forward. That is why it is good to have some encouragement in your arsenal for those not-so-good-days.
Understand that making your dreams come true require you to act. So in those times or weakness and discouragement or if you just get lazy remember:
“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” 2 Chronicles 15:7 (NIV)
During times of discouragement it can be hard to gather your strength to keep going. But God has already thought of this! He provided us the Holy Spirit to help specifically in times of weakness, dismay and discouragement. Take the time to pray, asking the Holy Spirit to help you in your weakness.
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26 ESV
Your goal may be starting something new. It might involve starting a new habit, a new relationship or a new business. You are just at the beginning. God loves newness, rebirth, transformation and growth. Staying connected to Jesus while working toward achieving your goals is the best way to make your dreams come true.
Let me know what your dreams are!
Let’s keep our goals and resolutions together!
Blessings,
Karen Lindwall-Bourg
“Achieve Levels of Success Worth Celebrating”
*Founder, Karen Bourg Companies http://karenbourg.com
*Owner, President {Inter}National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs/International Christian Mompreneur Network http://nacwe.org
*Founder, RHEMA Publishing House http://rhemapublishinghouse.com
*Founder, RHEMA Lakeside Retreat Center https://www.facebook.com/rhemaretreat/
*Founder, RHEMA Counseling Associates http://rhemacounseling.com
About Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Karen Lindwall-Bourg is the President of the {Inter} National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs [est. May 2010] and the new President of the International Christian Mompreneur Network [est. July 2010], both at http://nacwe.org . She and the NACWE Operations and Leadership Teams work diligently to provide
· Community
· Networking
· Education
· Missions
opportunities to Christian Women Entrepreneurs, Mompreneurs and Nanapreneurs alike all over the world!
Our Core Values are
· Community – we value Connection, Collaboration and Contribution
· Networking – we value Nurture, New relationships and New and innovative offers
· Education – we value Encouragement, Excellence and Expressiveness, and
· Missions – we value Ministry and Making a difference
Karen is wife to Fred, Mommy to 6 kids and 5 in-loves, Nana to “going-on” 12 grandchildren, and treat provider deluxe for a herd of Great Pyrenees who protect their north TX ranch! She is an entrepreneur coach, author, publisher, retreat hostess and more! Learn more about Mastermind groups and “Celebration” coaching with Karen at http://karenbourg.com
by Dr. Karen Lindwall-Bourg | Mar 25, 2020 | Entrepreneur Endeavors
Happy New Year!
“True happiness comes from the joy of deeds well done, the zest of creating things new.”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Speaking of new things:
Are you doing what I’m doing as you build your business?
Are you grateful this New Year for a chance to begin again, plan ahead, reach new heights, and think outside the box in your business as an entrepreneur?
Are you getting ready to launch new services and products?
Creation
I’ve been reading through the Bible in a chronological order (one of my many resolves for the New Year!). I’ve been reading about Creation and several things have struck me that I think apply to us as we design new programs and products in our organizations.
God created the world in six days. I never thought of it this way, but my ESV Bible commentary points out that the creation progressed over triads of days:
ONE
o Day 1 God created light (v.3) and
o Day 4 God created the greater light (sun), lesser light (moon), and stars (v.14)
TWO
o Day 2 God created Heaven – separated the water of the sky and the water of the seas (v.6) and
o Day 5 God crated living creatures above the earth (fowl) and in the sea (fish) (v.21)
THREE
o Day 3 God created the land (Earth) & vegetation, Seas, vegetation (v9-11)
o Day 6 God created the beasts (animals) of the earth, and man in His likeness with dominions and a command to be fruitful and multiply (v.24-30)
“Six Days of Creation”
Use the Lord’s 5-point pattern of design in and build your business for success for the new year!
First God gave the earth form by separating the light of day from the darkness of night, the sea below from the clouds above, and the dry land with vegetation from the sea.
Second He filled these realms.
Heavenly Design Patterns
There was a pattern He followed each “day”:
- an announcement “God said”;
- a command “Let there be”;
- a report “And it was so”;
- an evaluation “It was good”; and
- a chronological framework “The first day”.
How can we use this same pattern following the design of the Sovereign Lord in our own businesses?
How can you build your business the same way God would, the way He built your world?
Here are Five Inspired Steps toward Successful Entrepreneurship:
Entrepreneurial Design Patterns
1.MAKE A DECISION
– There was an announcement. “God said…” He created.
The Hebrew word for create is bara and one commentary I found said that this word is a word reserved for God’s creative activity alone. He created the universe out of nothing and He orders everything in a progressive manner.
Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”
How should we respond?
Psalm 148:5 says “Let them praise the name of the Lord! For He commanded and they were created.”
I’m dependent on God, for He creates and sustains all that is by the power of His own being. I also must follow patterns and create and multiply spiritually and encourage others to do the same. Who has encouraged you? Are you creating programs and products to build your business that honor God and that benefit and encourage others?
2. ANNOUNCE THE DECISION
– There was a command. God said, “Let there be.”
Not only do we need to embrace and nurture our creativity; we need not worry about the details before we move forward. If you’re like me and you wait until everything is 100% prepared in your own mind before moving forward, there will not be a moving forward! Go ahead and take action throughout the whole process of creating. Take intentional action!
3.LAUNCH WITH CONFIDENCE
– There was a report. God said, “And it was so.”
Move forward believing that God led you to this design and that there are others who will benefit from it! Launch! Announce your new or renewed services and products!
4.TEST OR EVALUATE WITH TRUSTED AND APPROPRIATE CUSTOMERS
– There was an evaluation. God said, “It was good.”
Make appropriate changes as you go. Listen to the feedback you receive and make adjustments and add programs according to the needs expressed by your audience.
5.ADD TO YOUR CREATION
– There was a chronological framework. God said, “The first day.” Hear the implied next day(s)!
As each program succeeds, add new steps to it based on the needs of your audience. Build your business! Re-purpose the information gleaned in this new project in many different ways. Build upon it and create a marketable program, compile it into a book, and/or create a series of videos or audiobook from this creative foundation!
Do you need help jump-starting new designs this year?
Do you need help to build your business using this divine design?
I’m here to help! Reach out to me and we can discuss how you can reach new levels of success worth celebrating!
Blessings,
Karen Lindwall-Bourg
“Achieve Levels of Success Worth Celebrating”
*Founder, Karen Bourg Companies http://karenbourg.com
*Owner, President {Inter}National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs/International Christian Mompreneur Network http://nacwe.org
*Founder, RHEMA Publishing House http://rhemapublishinghouse.com
*Founder, RHEMA Lakeside Retreat Center https://www.facebook.com/rhemaretreat/
*Founder, RHEMA Counseling Associates http://rhemacounseling.com
About Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Karen Lindwall-Bourg is the President of the {Inter} National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs [est. May 2010] and the new President of the International Christian Mompreneur Network [est. July 2010], both at http://nacwe.org . She and the NACWE Operations and Leadership Teams work diligently to provide
· Community
· Networking
· Education
· Missions
opportunities to Christian Women Entrepreneurs, Mompreneurs and Nanapreneurs alike all over the world!
Our Core Values are
· Community – we value Connection, Collaboration and Contribution
· Networking – we value Nurture, New relationships and New and innovative offers
· Education – we value Encouragement, Excellence and Expressiveness, and
· Missions – we value Ministry and Making a difference
Karen is wife to Fred, Mommy to 6 kids and 5 in-loves, Nana to “going-on” 12 grandchildren, and treat provider deluxe for a herd of Great Pyrenees who protect their north TX ranch! She is an entrepreneur coach, author, publisher, retreat hostess and more! Learn more about Mastermind groups and “Celebration” coaching with Karen at http://karenbourg.com
by Dr. Karen Lindwall-Bourg | Mar 17, 2020 | Celebrate Life!
Anger is inevitable in the experience of life as a human and even as a Christian. Righteous anger is an emotion we know God Himself experiences in the Scriptures. As we are made in His image it stands to reason we will experience anger. It is a God given emotion. However, we don’t have to let anger control us. And we must exercise anger in healthy and appropriate ways. It is important to learn to communicate clearly and in a godly-honoring manner when angry.
Ephesians 4:26 reads, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,”
Consider Anger as an Alarm System
It helps to look at anger as a warning system. Feeling angry is neither good nor bad. It is a way of knowing something isn’t quite right. Think of the alarm system on your house. When the alarm is activated and the beeping starts it is to warn you something is out of place. The beeping itself is not the culprit – it is not the primary problem. You must investigate to find out the root of the problem. So it is with anger – it is an alarm, a secondary emotion to alert you that something else is happening that needs investigation.
The Key to Communication When You’re Angry
The key to accurate and godly communication when you’re angry is being able to get to the root feeling. When your two year olds sprints toward a busy street, your reaction may be anger but the underlying emotion is fear. When you are angry, follow these step to understand your anger.
- Know your triggers. It helps to know what makes you feel angry and what your body feels like when it is angry. This knowledge reminds you to stop and think before speaking or acting. Knowing your triggers helps you determine the next step.
- Ask questions. Take a moment to ask yourself and God to help you figure out how you feel. (Jeremiah 33:3 reads, “Call to me and I will answer you,and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”) Some of those questions could be:
- Do I feel afraid?
- Do I feel disrespected?
- Am I disappointed? Discouraged?
- Am I tired or hungry?
- Do I feel ignored?
3. Once understood, courageously and wisely communicate regarding the underlying feeling instead of in anger. You can make personal feeling statements that reflect those feelings. For example:
- I feel angry and disrespected when you don’t respond to me when we’re talking.
- It makes me feel afraid when you don’t call to tell me you will be late because I worry about your safety.
- I am tired and it makes me more impatient; let’s talk about this after I rest.
WHAT STEPS DO YOU TAKE BEFORE COMMUNICATING WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY?
It may take some practice and a little bit of trial and error to learn how to communicate appropriately when you are angry. However, the more often you practice it, the easier it will become. The ability to say what you need to say when you are angry is a skill that will positively impact every relationship in your life, from work to clients, from toddlers to teens to spouses. You don’t have to suppress your angry feelings. You can learn how to say what you mean in constructive and healthy ways.
Taken from Rhema Counseling – November Courageous Communication Series
Blessings,
Karen Lindwall-Bourg
“Achieve Levels of Success Worth Celebrating”
*Founder, Karen Bourg Companies http://karenbourg.com
*Owner, President {Inter}National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs/International Christian Mompreneur Network http://nacwe.org
*Founder, RHEMA Publishing House http://rhemapublishinghouse.com
*Founder, RHEMA Lakeside Retreat Center https://www.facebook.com/rhemaretreat/
*Founder, RHEMA Counseling Associates http://rhemacounseling.com
About Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Karen Lindwall-Bourg is the President of the {Inter} National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs [est. May 2010] and the new President of the International Christian Mompreneur Network [est. July 2010], both at http://nacwe.org . She and the NACWE Operations and Leadership Teams work diligently to provide
· Community
· Networking
· Education
· Missions
opportunities to Christian Women Entrepreneurs, Mompreneurs and Nanapreneurs alike all over the world!
Our Core Values are
· Community – we value Connection, Collaboration and Contribution
· Networking – we value Nurture, New relationships and New and innovative offers
· Education – we value Encouragement, Excellence and Expressiveness, and
· Missions – we value Ministry and Making a difference
Karen is wife to Fred, Mommy to 6 kids and 5 in-loves, Nana to “going-on” 12 grandchildren, and treat provider deluxe for a herd of Great Pyrenees who protect their north TX ranch! She is an entrepreneur coach, author, publisher, retreat hostess and more! Learn more about Mastermind groups and “Celebration” coaching with Karen at http://karenbourg.com
