Preparing for Marriage
11 Top Issues in Premarital Counseling
If all you’ve thought about is the wedding and not the marriage, then you might need to think again. (Renae Willis)
Couples spend a lot of time and money preparing for marriage. There is a great deal of excitement and romance surrounding the union of the beloved. Every detail is fussed over from the color of flowers to the placement of every hair on your head. Everything is considered! Too often we spend all our time focused on the wedding and we forget about the marriage.
In between the dress fittings and seating charts, be sure to take some time with your beloved to explore some fundamental questions for your life together after the ceremony is over.
First,
Study God’s Word Together
Especially the roles and duties of a husband and wife found in
Ephesians 5:22-31;
1 Corinthians 7:16;
Colossians 3:18-19,
Titus 2:1-5, and
1 Peter 3:1-7.
Are there any red flags or major doctrinal disagreements?
Then,
Consider Some Top Issues
FAMILY
How much time will we spend with each others family? For the Holidays? For Birthdays?
How will we handle family planning? Timeline for children?
How will we find time for one another when work becomes demanding and life gets in the way?
WORK
What is our dream job?
What is the plan if one of us gets laid off?
How much of a priority is work to us?
Do we have any intentions of continuing our education?
MONEY
How much is considered a large cost purchase?
How will we decide on large cost purchases?
Will we have savings goals? Purchase goals?
How will we handle financial disagreements?
MARRIAGE
What do we imagine the first year of marriage will look like?
How much time will we spend together?
How often do you think we will have sex?
How will we handle disappointment/dissatisfaction?
What most stands in the way of creating a passionate and caring marriage?
HEALTH
How do we behave when we are sick?
What are our expectations of each other when we are sick?
What is our plan for being healthy and fit?
Do we have expectations about how we will eat?
APPEARANCE
What is our favorite way to spend a lazy day?
What is important about our physical appearance?
How would we handle changes in physical appearance?
FRIENDS
How will we spend time with friends?
How much time do we need with friends?
Is it important that I like your friends new and old?
PETS
Is it important for us to have pets?
What kind of care do we expects pets to receive?
Will we treat pets as family members?
POLITICS & LAW
How important is it for us to agree politically?
How do we feel about breaking the law?
What are our feelings about city/local politics and our involvement?
RELIGION
How often do we want to attend church?
Is it important to volunteer at church?
How do we go about finding a church we both like?
What are our expectations spiritually?
COMMUNICATION
Will we fight fair?
What constitutes and hampers our joy and passion?
What refreshes our mind, body, and spirit?
What makes our heart smile in tough times?
What makes us feel the most alive?
You can ask all the questions on earth to try and prepare yourself for marriage. However, one of the biggest and most important things you can do to prepare is commit to one another. Be willing to work through the hard times. Be willing to dig in and hold on for dear life when the storms come. It may seem like cliché advice but a willingness to work it out puts you in a mindset to listen, forgive, compromise, and love.
Finally, I recommend Premarital Counseling for all engaged couples.
And don’t forget to put Christ First in your lives and in your marriage!
If you’re single, and you want to know who to marry, run as hard and as fast toward Jesus as you can and if, out of the corner of your eye, you see somebody running in the same direction, take a second look. (Pastor Tommy Nelson)
Blessings:
The Lord bless you and keep you as a couple preparing for marriage;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace and a marriage that pleases Him!
Karen Lindwall-Bourg
“Achieve Levels of Success Worth Celebrating”
*Founder, Karen Bourg Companies http://karenbourg.com
*Owner, President {Inter}National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs/International Christian Mompreneur Network http://nacwe.org
*Founder, RHEMA Publishing House http://rhemapublishinghouse.com
*Founder, RHEMA Lakeside Retreat Center https://www.facebook.com/rhemaretreat/
*Founder, RHEMA Counseling Associates http://rhemacounseling.com
About Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Karen Lindwall-Bourg is the President of the {Inter} National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs [est. May 2010] and the new President of the International Christian Mompreneur Network [est. July 2010], both at http://nacwe.org . She and the NACWE Operations and Leadership Teams work diligently to provide
· Community
· Networking
· Education
· Missions
opportunities to Christian Women Entrepreneurs, Mompreneurs and Nanapreneurs alike all over the world!
Our Core Values are
· Community – we value Connection, Collaboration and Contribution
· Networking – we value Nurture, New relationships and New and innovative offers
· Education – we value Encouragement, Excellence and Expressiveness, and
· Missions – we value Ministry and Making a difference
Karen is wife to Fred, Mommy to 6 kids and 5 in-loves, Nana to “going-on” 12 grandchildren, and treat provider deluxe for a herd of Great Pyrenees who protect their north TX ranch! She is an entrepreneur coach, author, publisher, retreat hostess and more! Learn more about Mastermind groups and “Celebration” coaching with Karen at http://karenbourg.com