Concise Tips on How NOT to Talk to Your Kids About Sex!
Written by Audrey Werner RN, B.S.N.
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
Matthew 18:15 – 17
BACKGROUND ABOUT SEX EDUCATION
– As early as 1948, children were considered to be “sexual beings” in need of sexual information.
– Supreme Court Decision – 1962 (Prayer out), 1963 (Bible reading out), 1964 (sex education officially put into schools through SIECUS).
-Sex education was developed by pornographers, Planned Parenthood, members of the American Humanist Association, gay and lesbian groups, and officials from the Kinsey Institute.
-The goal of sex education is to break down children’s modesty and open them up to sexual sin.
How NOT to Talk to Your Kids About Sex
ONE: Children will learn what is caught vs. what is taught.-What are you watching, modeling, and doing in the home? Is modesty encouraged?
Resource: The Truth about Sex by Kay Arthur
TWO: Approach the topic with modesty!
– Would you share porn pictures or trashy romance novel descriptions with your children? Remember that the graphic direct approach came from Planned Parenthood, the porn industry, and Kinsey.
-God models a tremendous amount of modesty in scripture. See Song of Solomon 7:1-5
-Historically the talk was done in an indirect way using the flowers, birds and bees.
Resource:
The Miracle of Life and The Miracle of Change (for girls) by Ami Loper
The Princess and the Kiss and The Squire and the Scroll by Jennie Bishop
THREE: Identity matters!
– Are your children “sexual beings” or a “royal priesthood, a holy nation, made in the image and likeness of God?” Which identity should we be encouraging?
– “It matters how we identify ourselves. If we are mistaken about our identity, we will be mistaken about our purpose, behavior, and choices.” Linda Bartlett, Author
-Resource:
The Mission: Boy to Man by Tim and Ami Loper
Beautiful Girlhood by Mable Hale
Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy McDonald
The Failure of Sex Education in the Church by Linda Bartlett
FOUR: Don’t use the “sex” word.
– Sex can mean many things. Use the term “marital act” with your children as it means only one thing. The term “private parts” communicates modesty for young children.
-Nowhere in Scripture does God use the correct anatomical name for the genitals. It is referred to as “nakedness” (see I Cor. 12:23b, Song of Songs 7:1-5).
FIVE: Teach self-control.
-SIECUS guidelines and Sexuality Experts encourage masturbation.
-Prior to the Sexual Revolution it was referred to as “self – abuse” and was discouraged due to the sacredness of that part of the body and its connection with life.
Foundations for How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex- the BIBLE!
Start with these foundational principles:
-God’s picture of marriage (start with Adam and Eve)
-God’s life giving process: Adam and Eve beget, Generations
-God’s message on purity in thought, word and deed (Psalm 119:9)
Discuss with pre-teen/teen:
-The difference between Biblical Love and Lust (I Cor13)
-God’s message on seductive woman/naïve man in Proverbs 6 & 7
-Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (I Cor. 3:17, 6:13b, 6:18-19)
-God was in the temple, and then Christ was the temple, now our bodies are the temple because the Holy Spirit dwells in us.
Some Resources for Teens:
The Purity Principle by Randy Alcorn
The Secret Keeper by Dannah Gresh, Joshua Harrisbooks
Of Knights and Fair Maidens by Jeff & Danielle Meyer
Written by Audrey Werner RN, B.S.N.
THE MATTHEW XVIII GROUPA PURITY PARADIAGM FOR OUR HOMES, CHURCHES AND NATIONFor more information on THE MATTHEW XVIII Group http://matthew18.org/
Audrey is a Professor at Master’s International School of Divinity, serves on the Advisory Board of the American Academy of Biblical Counseling as the “Sex Education Expert” and is a former sex educator and STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease) Clinic nurse. She has been married 29 years and has 4 children.
Originally Posted on Rhema Counseling Associates