Dealing with Negative Emotions during the Holidays
“Tis the season to be jolly!”
(Deck the Halls by John Thomas & Thomas Oliphant)
It doesn’t always feel like a jolly season; and it is sometimes very hard to find the jolly and the joy. During the holiday season there is so much going on that we can lose our Christmas spirit. Or those around us are so The Grinch who Stole Christmas we wonder what we can do to help their heart “grow”.
The celebration of the season is sure to bring joy AND sorrows. Many people express the following emotions: depression, loneliness, overwhelm, busyness, anger, resentment, regret and anxiety. It is pretty normal to feel any of these emotions because we are much more likely to be social and dealing with other people during this time. Our interactions with loved ones can bring up a host of feelings – good and bad.
Here is a quick guide of how to deal with those not-so-joyful feelings that may surface during the Holidays.
DEPRESSION
Depression seems counter-intuitive to the holidays but it comes upon us for a number of reasons. It can occur as the result of comparison, because of the end of a relationship, or as we mourn the loss of a loved one who won’t be at our Christmas celebration. God will comfort you. He will not leave you dismayed when you call out to Him.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
He comforts us.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
LONELINESS
Even surrounded by friends and family, loneliness can be pressing. The feeling stems from not feeling truly connected to those around us. The Christmas season also has such a romantic feel with the lights and music and sappy movies – this can contribute to feelings of loneliness. One way to handle loneliness is to reach out to just one person and make a sincere connection. Remind yourself you are not alone with these verses.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
“For the Lord will not forsake his people, for His great name’s sake, because it has pleased the Lord to make you a people for Himself“. 1 Samuel 12:22
I love this verse because when I meditate on it, I am reminded the Lord is pleased to have me a part of His family. I picture Him smiling over me.
OVERWHELM
Between working, decorating, shopping, cooking, hosting parties and going to parties it is not hard to see where overwhelm comes into the picture. Truthfully, overwhelm of your to-do list can occur at any time, but add on the responsibilities and festivities of the holidays and it becomes a delicate balance.
Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.”(Mark 6:31) He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat. Take it from Jesus, if not me, sometimes you have to go to a quiet place and rest. If it’s good enough for Jesus; it’s good enough for us.
BUSYNESS
Busyness will keep you from rest. It can steal your peace and make you feel hurried and pressured. It is hard to accept every invitation, meet all expectations and still function in your everyday life. If we could all take weeks off during the season, busyness might not be an issue. But since we live in the real world, keep these things in mind when busyness starts to wear on you:
But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42
Just a reminder to remember this holiday is about Jesus.
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Psalm 46:10
Psalm 46 is chock full with the bigness of God. Taking the time to “be still” may make the busyness feel much less oppressive.
ANGER & RESENTMENT
I love Christmas movies. Nearly every movie is about a family that has some minor discord, then overcomes together. In real life, families fight and argue, and sometimes rifts are healed and peaceful and sometimes they are not. This family-oriented time of year can bring up feelings of anger and resentment. You don’t have to let those feelings ruin your day.
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27
Read my Blog on Anger, “Three Steps to Clear Communication When You Are Angry”
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
It is so easy for resentment to grow during a season of giving. Just remember not to give up and keep doing good.
REGRET
Regrets come when we are reminded of relationship failures (which happen to everyone). Regrets can occur because you don’t have the resources to make all Christmas wishes come true. Don’t let regret become a stronghold.
“Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.” Psalm 51:8-9
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Since the Almighty forgives us and cleanses us, shouldn’t we work on letting go of our regrets as well?
ANXIETY
If there is any time when anxiety will rear up – it is during the holiday season. Racing thoughts about the right gift, the right outfit, the right dinner menu, the right holiday salutation, the right decorations, and the right…ahhh!!! Just writing that list makes me anxious! We all want our holidays to be dreamy and perfect, but just remember anxiety is based on fear and is exacerbated by a lack of peace. This is The Season when peace entered the earth!
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
When you feel anxious you should pray and thank God. Thank Him for what you have and let Him know what you need. This is the best way to ease feelings of anxiety.
The dread and stress that comes with the Christmas season can be a thing of the past. You can be full of peace and joy. You can feel all the warmth and comfort the season has to offer when your focus i s centered. It’s okay to be emotional during the holidays, just remember you can turn the negative emotions around with sincere prayer and meditation. Don’t wait until you feel you are at the end of your rope this Season!
What are some of the ways you deal with negative emotions during the holidays?
Blessings,
Karen Lindwall-Bourg
“Achieve Levels of Success Worth Celebrating”
*Founder, Karen Bourg Companies http://karenbourg.com
*Owner, President {Inter}National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs/International Christian Mompreneur Network http://nacwe.org
*Founder, RHEMA Publishing House http://rhemapublishinghouse.com
*Founder, RHEMA Lakeside Retreat Center https://www.facebook.com/rhemaretreat/
*Founder, RHEMA Counseling Associates http://rhemacounseling.com
About Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Karen Lindwall-Bourg is the President of the {Inter} National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs [est. May 2010] and the new President of the International Christian Mompreneur Network [est. July 2010], both at http://nacwe.org . She and the NACWE Operations and Leadership Teams work diligently to provide
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opportunities to Christian Women Entrepreneurs, Mompreneurs and Nanapreneurs alike all over the world!
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Karen is wife to Fred, Mommy to 6 kids and 5 in-loves, Nana to “going-on” 12 grandchildren, and treat provider deluxe for a herd of Great Pyrenees who protect their north TX ranch! She is an entrepreneur coach, author, publisher, retreat hostess and more! Learn more about Mastermind groups and “Celebration” coaching with Karen at http://karenbourg.com