Conflict Resolution – Be Reconciled!
Conflict is inevitable, but resolvable. Conflict resolution and the joy of reconciliation takes commitment, skill, and lots of grace!
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9
Conflict Resolution – Conflict is Inevitable!
Conflict happens. If you have never been in conflict in your relationships then someone is not being truthful!
Too often we associate conflict with such negative ideas. We believe conflict always involves fighting and yelling. We think conflict always results in arguments and name-calling followed by the silent treatment. We think conflict is always about hurt feelings and being offended.
Conflict Resolution – Begins with Conflict and That’s a Good Thing!
It is time to change our idea of what conflict is and how we handle it. I don’t know any healthy person who actually enjoys conflict. However, it doesn’t have to be all bad. And avoiding conflict can yield wonderfully positive results and be actively engaging.
Conflict Resolution – Keeping the Peace or Making Peace?
There is a difference in keeping the peace and walking in love. Keeping the peace can often be interpreted as not speaking up and using your voice. Ultimately, this choice leads to resentment and anger in many relationships. Individuals feel diminished and overlooked.
The Bible does not bless the peacekeepers. God blesses the peacemakers. Peacemaking is hard work. It sometimes means communicating hard truths. It encompasses moving forward in conflict with the goal of making peace – not the goal of being right or winning. Peacemaking requires grace of speech and patience to make sure all parties are heard.
Conflict Resolution – It’s Worth the Effort and Discomfort
Peacemaking is not the easy way; however, it is the Biblical way to manage conflict in relationships.
Conflict Resolution – Helpful Steps
Consider these points the next time you are attempting a collaborative resolution to conflict in your life.
Pray – Pray before you talk. Pray after you talk. Stop and pray in the middle if things go sideways. Prayer is a great way to center and ground the conversation so you can demonstrate love and keep the will of God in mind.
Keep anger under control – Anger is not to be avoided. It is an alarm system – a red flag to warn you that something is wrong so you can decide how to act. But, out-of-control anger is destructive and will not lead to reconciliation.
Don’t rush resolution – Take the time to deal with big conflicts in your relationship. It is important to the health and wellbeing of all parties. Don’t rush it. If you don’t have the time to talk – set up a time to talk when you have the space to come to a conclusion.
Take breaks – Even though you don’t want to let conflict sit for too long, sometimes you need a break. Some disagreements can’t be solved in one conversation. Sometimes things get heated and a little break helps you bring the conversation back to a good working place. Don’t worry about it – just agree to come back to the table and figure it out.
Listen – Listening, in its simplest form, is the patience to understand the person talking to you. It is also your commitment to being understood. To understand someone else you must listen to the whole message. Take into consideration not just verbal expression, but nonverbal expression. You can’t hear someone when you are thinking of what to say next. In addition, you must listen to what another says to know if they understand you. Listening is the foundational skill for resolving conflict.
Be okay with compromise – Be ready to compromise. If you enter into a discussion with the goal of resolving conflict you must be willing to compromise. Otherwise nothing will get accomplished. A little self-examination will help you determine where you can compromise and on what issues you aren’t willing to budge.
Forgive and let go – Most conflict involves some need for forgiveness. Usually feelings have been hurt. Forgiveness is one of the best tools to promote resolution. Holding onto hurts and offenses keeps you from reaching resolution. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have given permission; it means you are choosing to put the transgression behind you in order to move forward toward resolution.
Understanding the difference between being a peacekeeper and peacemaker is the first step to successful resolution in any conflict. Stick with these tips and come up with some of your own to handle conflict in a healthy way. Share them with me!
Blessings,
Karen Lindwall-Bourg
“Achieve Levels of Success Worth Celebrating”
*Founder, Karen Bourg Companies http://karenbourg.com
*Owner, President {Inter}National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs/International Christian Mompreneur Network http://nacwe.org
*Founder, RHEMA Publishing House http://rhemapublishinghouse.com
*Founder, RHEMA Lakeside Retreat Center https://www.facebook.com/rhemaretreat/
*Founder, RHEMA Counseling Associates http://rhemacounseling.com
About Karen Lindwall-Bourg
Karen Lindwall-Bourg is the President of the {Inter} National Association of Christian Women Entrepreneurs [est. May 2010] and the new President of the International Christian Mompreneur Network [est. July 2010], both at http://nacwe.org . She and the NACWE Operations and Leadership Teams work diligently to provide
· Community
· Networking
· Education
· Missions
opportunities to Christian Women Entrepreneurs, Mompreneurs and Nanapreneurs alike all over the world!
Our Core Values are
· Community – we value Connection, Collaboration and Contribution
· Networking – we value Nurture, New relationships and New and innovative offers
· Education – we value Encouragement, Excellence and Expressiveness, and
· Missions – we value Ministry and Making a difference
Karen is wife to Fred, Mommy to 6 kids and 5 in-loves, Nana to “going-on” 12 grandchildren, and treat provider deluxe for a herd of Great Pyrenees who protect their north TX ranch! She is an entrepreneur coach, author, publisher, retreat hostess and more! Learn more about Mastermind groups and “Celebration” coaching with Karen at http://karenbourg.com